When Roles Reverse

Resources

Hotlines, federal & state programs, professional directories, and disease-specific support — the long list of organizations worth knowing about.

Looking for an individual professional (lawyer, financial planner, geriatric care manager)? Use the Who-to-Call directory instead.

Hotlines

  • Eldercare Locator

    📞 1-800-677-1116

    eldercare.acl.gov

    Federal service that connects you to your local Area Agency on Aging — your county-level navigator for benefits, in-home services, meals, and caregiver respite. The first call most caregivers should make and most don't know exists.

    Free
  • Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline

    📞 1-800-272-3900

    alz.org

    Master's-level clinicians available around the clock. Walks any family through any dementia situation including 3 a.m. crises. You don't need a diagnosis. You don't need to be the legal caregiver.

    Free200+ languages
  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

    📞 988

    988lifeline.org

    If you (the caregiver) or your parent are in mental health crisis. Free, confidential, 24/7. Caregivers — call this if you ever notice persistent thoughts of self-harm or that you can't go on. It's for you too.

    Free
  • Crisis Text Line

    📞 Text HOME to 741741

    crisistextline.org

    Text-based crisis counseling. Useful when calling feels like too much. Caregivers regularly use this for the late-night moments when no one else is awake.

    Free
  • VA Caregiver Support Line

    📞 1-855-260-3274

    caregiver.va.gov

    If your parent is a veteran, the VA has dedicated caregiver support — financial stipends, respite, training, peer support. Most veteran families don't know this exists.

    Free
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline (Elder Abuse)

    📞 1-800-799-7233

    thehotline.org

    Domestic violence covers elder abuse situations too. They will route to Adult Protective Services if needed.

    Free
  • Adult Protective Services (state hotlines)

    📞 Call your state APS — Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) routes

    eldercare.acl.gov

    Investigates suspected abuse, neglect, exploitation, or self-neglect of vulnerable adults. Can intervene legally if needed. Most states have a 24/7 line.

    Free

Federal & state programs

  • Medicare.gov

    medicare.gov

    What's covered, plan finder, doctor lookup, find a hospital, nursing home compare, hospice provider search. Spend 30 minutes here before any major medical decision.

  • Benefits.gov

    benefits.gov

    Free benefits screening — answer some questions and it tells you what your parent might qualify for: SSI, SNAP, energy assistance, Medicaid, HEAP, etc.

  • Medicaid (state-by-state)

    medicaid.gov/about-us/contact-us/contact-state-page.html

    Long-term care coverage — and the labyrinth that comes with it. Five-year look-back period for asset transfers. Don't navigate this alone — find an elder law attorney first.

  • Social Security Administration

    📞 1-800-772-1213

    ssa.gov

    Direct deposit changes, address updates, replacement cards, survivor benefits, dependent benefits.

  • Meals on Wheels America

    mealsonwheelsamerica.org

    Delivers meals AND social connection to homebound older adults in most US communities. Often subsidized. Often the volunteer is the only person who notices early changes — they save lives.

  • PACE (Programs of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly)

    npaonline.org

    If your parent is Medicaid-eligible AND would need nursing home level of care, PACE provides everything (medical, social, transportation, day program) coordinated and at home. Underused. Worth asking about.

Find a professional

  • National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA)

    naela.org

    Find a CERTIFIED elder law attorney for POA, advance directive, Medicaid planning, special needs trusts, guardianship. Don't use a generalist for this work.

  • Aging Life Care Association

    aginglifecare.org

    Find a Geriatric Care Manager — your project manager when you can't be there. Especially important for long-distance caregivers.

  • NAPFA (Fee-Only Fiduciary Financial Planners)

    napfa.org

    Fiduciaries are legally required to act in your parent's interest. Avoid commission-based advisors for long-term care planning, Medicaid planning, and inheritance work.

  • American Association of Daily Money Managers

    aadmm.com

    Find a DMM — pays bills, organizes paperwork, watches for fraud, coordinates with the elder law attorney. $60-100/hour. Bonded and background-checked.

  • Long-Term Care Ombudsman (state-by-state)

    ltcombudsman.org

    Free advocate inside nursing homes and assisted living facilities. Investigates complaints, mediates disputes, knows the regulations cold.

  • American Psychological Association — Find a Therapist

    locator.apa.org

    Search filters include specialties like 'caregiving' and 'family/relationship.' Look for someone who has worked with caregivers — it's a specific kind of therapy.

Disease-specific support

  • Alzheimer's Association — Local Chapters & Support Groups

    alz.org/help-support/community/support-groups

    In-person, virtual, hybrid. Disease-specific support groups are usually most useful — the people in the room actually know what you mean.

  • American Heart Association — Support Network

    supportnetwork.heart.org

    Caregivers of stroke and cardiac patients.

  • American Cancer Society — Caregiver Resources

    📞 1-800-227-2345

    cancer.org

    Caregivers of cancer patients. Includes the very specific 'How to Care for Someone Receiving Treatment' content.

  • Parkinson's Foundation Helpline

    📞 1-800-473-4636

    parkinson.org

    Disease-specific information, local resources, exercise programs, caregiver support.

  • Lewy Body Dementia Association

    📞 1-800-539-9767

    lbda.org

    LBD is often misdiagnosed and has unique caregiving challenges. Their resources are specifically for LBD families.

Caregiver-specific support

  • Family Caregiver Alliance

    caregiver.org

    National nonprofit focused on family caregivers. State-by-state resource directory, online caregiver community, fact sheets on every common situation.

  • AARP Family Caregiving

    aarp.org/caregiving

    Practical guides, caregiver community, prepare-to-care checklist. You don't need to be 50+ to use the resources.

  • Caregiver Action Network

    📞 1-855-227-3640

    caregiveraction.org

    Family Caregiver Toolbox. Disease-specific resource lists. Caregiver Help Desk.

  • Daughterhood

    daughterhood.org

    Specifically for adult daughters caring for aging parents. Communities ("Daughterhood Circles") in many cities. Worth knowing this niche exists.

Financial assistance

  • BenefitsCheckUp (NCOA)

    benefitscheckup.org

    Free, anonymous benefits screening from the National Council on Aging. Often finds money your parent qualifies for that they didn't know about.

  • State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP)

    shiphelp.org

    FREE Medicare counseling. State by state. Saves families thousands when comparing Medicare Advantage vs. Medigap, choosing Part D, appealing coverage decisions.

  • Medicare Savings Programs

    medicare.gov/basics/costs/help/medicare-savings-programs

    If income is below thresholds, helps pay Medicare premiums and copays. Underused — many who qualify don't apply.

  • Pharmaceutical Assistance Programs

    medicare.gov/pharmaceutical-assistance-program

    Drug-by-drug — most major manufacturers have a program for low-income patients. Searchable by drug name.

Practical tools

  • CaringBridge

    caringbridge.org

    Free private site for sharing health updates with the family. Saves you from re-telling the same story 12 times. Especially useful during crises and end-of-life.

  • Lotsa Helping Hands

    lotsahelpinghands.com

    Free private community calendar. People sign up to bring meals, drive, or visit. Ends the awkward 'how can I help?' loop.

  • Hero / MedMinder / Live Fine — automatic pill dispensers

    herohealth.com

    Locked dispenser releases the right meds at the right time. Alerts when missed. ~$30-100/month + meds. For dementia patients especially, often eliminates the daily medication anxiety.

  • GrandPad / Jitterbug — older-adult-friendly devices

    grandpad.net

    Tablets and phones designed for older users. Larger buttons, simpler menus, family-managed. For long-distance caregiving, often more useful than trying to teach them an iPad.